Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
