they need to just BURY HIM!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
