The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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