But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
