I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we're making bets on your personal life
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
