So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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