He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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