there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
