my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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