everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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