Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my shit smells like andre
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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