I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
