Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
