I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
