We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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