come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
