hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
