Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize