Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
