Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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