so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
