Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
not ubering you a puppy
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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