Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
