If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
