i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
