I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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