Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
