So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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