the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
