Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
