people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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