love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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