hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
