lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
