Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
