some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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