worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
