North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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