dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
