He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
