my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
