My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you win again, gameday.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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