allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
