Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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