does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
