you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
