remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
