That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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