Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
