Swine flu. Run for my life!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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