Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize