i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
