ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
