Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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