My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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