ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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