while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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