this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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