yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
