when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
